Well Worth the Wait: Muangthong United 2-3 Port FC


As we gathered in The Sportsman on soi 13 yesterday afternoon I couldn’t help but reminisce about the feeling of hating a club so much. Fortunately for me mine overlapped; Glasgow Rangers died and I came to Thailand in the same year – 2012. Muangthong actually represent everything I despise socially and in football. Owned by capitalist billionaires with influence, they think the world owes them and have a sponsored stand named after the plebs that support them. The club is so fake!

Eight long years it had been since Thai Port had recorded a victory against this mob and given the start they had made to this campaign, even the most optimistic of Port fans would have passed on the 8/1 odds Paddy Power was offering. Well, the rest is history and a devastating four minute spell at the end of the first half has created what will live in our memories for several years to come.

Jadet gave us the team most of my Sandpit colleagues envisaged: basically a 4-5-1 formation with the usual suspects operating the positions in what were wet and blustery pre-match conditions. The first ten minutes both sides evened each other out and Muangthong settled into a slow passing rhythm, with Port having the odd venture forward, usually led by Pakorn (9) and his trademark sticking his arse into the opponent, dropping the shoulder and a quick acceleration. It nearly worked as early as the third minute, but nobody was on the end of a brisk centre.

A corner in the 11th minute nearly resulted in the opening goal, swung in by Tristan Do (19), Lee Ho (15) rose highest to thunder a header off the woodwork and central defender Celio (29) failed with the response only to be cleared by the ever reliable Captain Fantastic himself. Muangthong were now on top and with Teerasil (10, when the prick would stay on his feet) and Sorawit (14) were looking dangerous. Minutes later we traded chances. Firstly, Josi (30) hit over the bar and then Sorawit (14) returned the favour.

Port’s fist real chance came soon after when Rochela (22) set Suarez (5) on his way, but he was unlucky with the finish. Nevertheless, the statement was clear: we were going to have ago even though we would have to play the sponge tactic and break quickly. Shortly after shaky defending by Nitipong (34) let in Sanukran (16) who brought a great save out of Worawut (36) in goal. By now Muangthong had been looking dangerous and a bursting run and triple jump resulted in a penalty being incorrectly given by the ref. Teerasil (10), who was dangerous throughout, was fouled by a rash Dolah (4) challenge but the replay showed it was a yard outside the box, Theerathon (3) – Thailand’s talisman – made sure from the spot. Muangthong 1-0 Port

Then just before half time my orgasm started. Josimar had a shot on goal deflected, and from the resulting corner Dolah’s header was charged away by Theerathon. Then Pinkong (19) decided to have his own crossing practice exhibition, the Muangthong defence failed to clear and Josi smashed the ball low and hard into the corner of the net. Muangthong 1-1 Port

Then in the 43rd minute the Pink man was at it again. This time a salmon rose in the form of Sergio Suarez (5) and dispatched an exquisite header into the back of the Kirins net. Muangthong 1-2 Port

Then the Bangkok pool league was officially halted for the first time ever in its twenty year existence as fifteen lunatics preceded to run wild around there pool tables like buffalo en route to the first creek in seven miles. From the right wing Nitipong (34) advanced and delivered an inch-perfect ball into Josimar who volleyed an unstoppable shot into the gaping goal. The moment of ejaculation! Muangthong 1-3 Port

The second half began with a Muangthong tactical change reverting to a 3-5-2 formation and making a double substitution with Mongkol (22) introducing himself with his elbow on Rochela (22) in a terrible challenge. Muangthong were now on top and Port reverted to a hold tight approach which was not good for my finger nails or ticker. Defensively we had looked shaky throughout in fairness and on 55 minutes Dolah was caught under a cross, but thankfully Teerasil couldn’t capitalize. Then minutes later Chanathip (18) sent a thunderbolt destined for the top corner only for Worawut to pull off a world class stop. A minute later the ball was thumping off the Port woodwork, again from the head of Lee Ho (15).

We were now wobbling significantly, and two minutes later the inevitable happened. Centre half Celio (29) was doing his Jinky Johnstone impression on the left wing and centred for Teerasil to pull a goal back with a close range strike. Muangthong 2-3 Port

Then all of a sudden in the last 15 minutes Port started to express themselves again and looked more composed. They could have even sealed it with two late forays into enemy territory. Josimar was found by Pakorn (9) in acres and Tana (99) was one on one but neither could capitalize. Thankfully the game was soon over and the boys from Khlong Toei were triumphant! The boys in yellow had made a statement that on our day we can beat anyone, anywhere. The only disappointment is we could not experience this occasion with the team we loyally follow throughout the kingdom, but our day will come again for sure.


The Sandpit’s Man of the Match


Any man who hits a brace against them deserves it. Well done, Josimar Rodrigues!


Kevin Machugh

Kevin Machugh

Derry City, Ireland. Married with two gorgeous kids. Former Irish league footballer. Fanatical Glasgow Celtic fan🍀

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