I wrote a piece for this website which praised, lauded you could say, even go so far as to say worshipped a particular ex-Port legend. (It was Moise and I meant every love-soaked word) It was, however on the gushing side of the teeny-boyband idolization spectrum I’ll admit. So being a deeply repressed Englishman who longs for the emotionless and sterile relationships and behaviour of a 19th Century English public school and who feels way more comfortable in the pre-Princess Diana’s-death Britain than the share your feelings, go and have a good cry it’s normal, gimme a hug, post-Princess Diana’s death Britain, I thought I would write something more natural: an article about Kim Ba-We. I met the ex-Port player Steven Robb a few times and he got on well with Kim, so while chatting with him I was capable of restraining my spiteful hate-filled outbursts when mentioning him, so I will tap into that mindset again.
I will be as positive as I can be and attempt to present my bile and ammonia-filled rants in the most positive way possible. I could very easily use up all the negative adjectives I can think of and use every rude word I have in my arsenal, but instead I will be “nice”. I will discuss the great Kim Ba-We by comparing him and his style of play with the following famous and to some extent good midfielders, namely Michael Carrick, Paul Scholes and Jack Wilshere.
So here we go! Let’s start with Michael Carrick. Four Manchester United managers have all rated him as the composite professional; all have continued to play him in place of other more fashionable options. He has also represented England. Fellow footballers always seem to say Carrick is a model professional, who allows other players to play their game. So how does Kim demonstrate Carrick-esque characteristics? Well there are few players who have played in a Port shirt who could match Carrick’s staggeringly limited and unambitious sideways and backwards passing as Kim Ba-We managed. Kim’s ability to match Carrick’s 10 yard pass back to the central defender to totally avoid the responsibility of driving the game forward was effortless. Amazing, truly amazing!
Moving onto Paul Scholes: let me just state I was a huge fan of Paul Scholes – the ginger menace was part of one of the best midfields ever in my desperately uninformed opinion. He was the full package, scoring amazing goals and being the heartbeat of numerous United teams over the years, yet criminally under-appreciated for England. So, how, I hear you ask, is Kim possibly like Scholesy? Well there was one part of Paul’s game (I think I can call him Paul, I don’t think he would mind) that Kim mirrors with eerie accuracy. Both Paul and Kim matched each other in their ability to tackle. Tackles were usually late, often misjudged and regularly foul-inducing. Masterful!
Next is the enigma that is Jack Wilshere. I have a friend who thinks Wilshere is awesome, says he has the potential the boss the England midfield for years to come, and I have heard of really great games that he has played in and performances that have defied belief in the completeness of all things. He seems to be continuously championed for greatness and apparently should be the first name on any team sheet. I, however, have never seen any of Wilshere’s majestic displays, never seen anything in his game to justify the hype, or any performances that seem to justify his inclusion (when fit) with almost suicide-inspiring regularity. I have never really worked out what it is that Wilshere does and what role he plays for his team. In my view Jack seems to be desperately over-hyped, and has an ability that seems to be described in terms that are way beyond the reality regularly seen on the pitch. On numerous occasions I spoke with Port fans who seemed to feel similar affinity for Kim that many people I know feel for Wilshere. Kim’s performances were in my opinion, routinely Wilshere-esque in their anonymity and blandness. Kim can truly claim to walk in the footy boot steps of good old Jack.
So there you have it. Kim Ba-We compared with some “greats” of the game, Carrick, Scholes and Wilshere. I did my best. I’m off for a lie down, this positivity is killing me.