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February Farce – The Port Round-Up Nobody Wanted

Lets face it, following Thai football can be difficult in normal times; the lack of communication between clubs and fans, last minute changes of venue and match date, plus poor stadiums and facilities to mention a few aspects. Now factor in a global pandemic, a league campaign that never seems to end with empty stands and it’s no wonder everyone here at Sandpit Towers has struggled to get the match reports out. So I’ve dusted off the typewriter to keep you up to date with recent events. You might want to sit down and pour yourself a double before you start reading this…

 

Port FC 1 – 2 Buriram United FC 

After getting knocked out of the FA Cup on penalties, our conquerers Buriram returned 3 days later to face us in the league. Port gave a much better account of themselves and took the lead just after half time with a Sergio Suarez finish. Sadly they couldn’t hold onto the lead and capitulated to 2 late goals; first a near post header and minutes later Maicon was suicidally played onside by Worawut/Baresi with time to finish. True, a slight improvement in form but to concede so late easily preventable goals would be especially galling to Coach Oud, who the camera picked up slapping his own head as some self-inflicted flagellation. 

 

Oud, reacts to Oud’s call to take Bordin off

 

Police Tero FC 2 – 0 Port FC 

Madame Pang Coach Oud rung the changes for our trip north of the capital, starting with an attacking trident of Adisak, Bonilla and Boli but in truth, they were especially toothless against a well organised Police. It was truly written in the stars that 2 ex-Port players, both sadly mismanaged during their respective spells at The PAT, would score the goals. Just before the 10 minute mark Dragan Boskovic cooly finished and in the second half cult favourite carthorse Arthit “Pele” Boodjinda smashed home to double the lead. Special mention must go to our keeper Worawut who pulled off 2 exceptional saves to keep the scoreline respectable. 

 

“Pele” scored……

 

BG Pathum United FC 2 – 1 Port FC 

Sadly our form had made this match up a completely different proposition to what it could have been if we had maintained our early season form, whenever that was, and a Port win (stop laughing at the back) would not have really affected Glass’ eventual crowning as champions. The bittersweet aspect of this match is that Port at times were the better team and took the lead in the first half thanks to an acute thunderbastard volley from workhorse Ko Seul-Ki. If Port fans had been in the stadium the reaction would have been akin to Suarez’s goal at Buriram; total bedlam. Port then did the most Port thing possible and immediately conceded an equalizer to Brazilian shithouse Victor Cardozo. The second half was an enthralling affair with both teams pressing for the win but eventually it was Glass securing the points thanks to ex-Port player (getting a bit sick & tired writing that phrase) Chenrop. Yes, that Chenrop. Port had the ball in the net in the final minute of the match but VAR adjudged Suarez to have handled the ball moments before. Fuck you very much VAR. 

 

Who remembers the good ole days when VAR was going to give Port loads of marginal decisions?

 

Port FC 0 – 0 Trat FC 

Port finally secured their first point since the beginning of the month with a draw at home to lowly Trat, a team we would have murdered many moons ago. The opposition decided to show some effort and attempted to secure all the points, while the home team were disorganised, ineffective and frankly bollocks. Please can I stop writing now? 

 

“Put the round thing in the net thing” Oud passing on some much needed advice v Trat

 

So what’s going on with the team? Has the same malaise affecting this website hit the team? Trusted first teamers are dialling in performances, new signings are running around the pitch with no end product and very little tactical awareness is being shown from the bench. 4 points out of a possible 18 and knocked out of the cup speaks volumes; a truly wretched month, plus Buriram have found some steel and are hunting us down. Next up is a trip to Legoland for the Scum Vs Slum derby, and our opponents have won 5 out of 6 matches since the league restart. It’s look ominous people, and this time Jadet isn’t hanging around to swoop in and take the reins. Buckle up, we’re in for a bumpy ride.

 

Derby day

Toby Knight

Toby Knight

North Londoner, Arsenal fan and believer in lucky cigars, Toby happily stumbled upon Port FC 4 years ago. The rest, as they say, is history.

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