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The FAT Catwalk 2021: Every T1 Home Kit Rated & Slated

Sunday 6th September 1992 saw the launch of Channels 4’s Football Italia coverage, giving the UK the opportunity to see, what was then, the best league in the world (and still is for this footballing beatnik (besides Peru and A League obviously)). For two young North London minds it wasn’t just the football played by the world’s best talents that caught the eye. As the coming weeks saw them introduced to the styled elegance of Serie A mid 90s kits from Sampdoria, Fiorentina, Venezia et al, planting a seed that would blossom into a love of overpriced manmade fibers and the promotion of sportwashing and morally questionable multinationals. Eventually they met in Bangkok and began exchanging images of the best and worst obscure kits to be found around the globe. Now regarded as two of the foremost gurus on all things style and football shirts, they’ve never written for GQ, the Guardian or had their own show on BBC3 because that would be far too mainstream for these shirt hipsters. However, after much persuasion (they wanted to do T3 goalkeeper shirts), The Sandpit have pulled off quite the coup, as in their first available to the mass’s public exposure Jimny and Tobannah* have agreed to give T1’s home kits the once over.

(*I get it’s a hell of a stretch about a fat lad and a bloke who’s noted style moments include the words “pink sandals” but roll with me.)

So, without further delay here comes the unquestionably correct rankings, we’ll start at the top as is traditional (and some of the efforts at the bottom are truly horrific).

 

 

 

 

1.Suphanburi

This one absolutely grew on me. It looks so basic but in this league of teams shoehorning every idea they have or stealing from last season’s efforts from Europe’s big clubs, something clean, simple and original is a wonderful relief. Then it’s got the circuit board design in the material to make you feel like a terminator or transformer and who’s inner 5 year old isn’t loving that? Warrix lost their way a little in recent seasons, caught in the mid-ground between the younger, sharper, more risk taking designs of Ari and Volt, and the plodding efforts of Thailand’s traditional giants of shirt manufacturer Grand Sport and FBT, but this is a fine return to form for the national team’s supplier.

 

 

 

 

 

 

2.Bangkok Glass

It’s the simple things done well isn’t it. Royal blue with a vibrant yellow trim on the collar and sleeves, one main beer sponsor (not Chang) and then the remaining sponsors strategically positioned around the shirt in a considered way. It’s certainly not the most revolutionary of shirts but it is sure done well and looks the bees knees on players and fans alike.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3.Port

Rejoice for Port are finally free of Grand Sport. Ari step into the breach and start producing the most important shirt in Thai football. Great effort this, it takes heavy influence from the classic 2014 shirt. A season sandwiched between a promotion and relegation, Port would finish 13th in the Thai Premier League, do nothing in the cups, with Leandro top scorer amassing 10 goals. That’s the Port we love. As with their ACL shirt Ari’s only fault, oh so common in Thai shirts, is being a little too busy with the vague brush strokes effects, and is that meant to be stitching at the top where blue and orange meet? Thankfully they remembered less is often more with a splendid collar. Sponsor’s are spot on, the Leo perfect for pointing at when the vendors don’t want to believe you can communicate with them verbally and look at that lovely blue square – think how many moany old toads it will trigger, seriously make it bigger next year and get it on every shirt in the league.

 

 

 

 

4.Korat

 

The only all-orange effort in our top ten this season. The Swat Cats have selected Spanish brand Kelme to design their shirts, evoking formative footballing memories of Raul Gonzalez in the early years of his Real Madrid career. The shirt is well thought out; a simple, subtle orange tyre pattern with black trim and good positioning of several sponsors. Leo again and not Chang for the win. International car brands are always good for a sponsor but the logos at the bottom might not be 100% visible on fans with beer guts, doubt research and development looked into that.

 

 

 

 

 

5.Chonburi

Nike and Chonburi have been producing consistently decent efforts over recent seasons and there’s no change here. Keeping it very simple on the colour front of this shirt. The neck is great and it’s uncluttered by sponsors. The pattern evokes images of a well turned out pitch. It’s all very nice, if a little unspectacular. Then they go and stick this shiny thing on it that’s meant to be a shark’s tooth. Does it ruin a decent simple effort or save the shirt from being a bit boring? The debate rages on and we’ve both changed sides a few times.

 

 

 

 

 

 

6.Nong Bua

Certainly a ‘marmite’ shirt, I have some previous with pink items of clothing so I favour this shirt more than the co-author of this list. Thai sportswear companies are not afraid of reaching for the craziness and, as Nong Bua traditionally wear pink, Warrix selected a “thai dye”, could have picked this up at the night market feel for this season’s home effort. I think it works well, especially with the 3 sponsors positioned on the chest but not spoiling the effect like a big blue square plastered across the chest (cough, cough).

 

 

 

 

 

 

7.Buriram

On first impressions there’s a lot to like about what they’ve done here. It looks like just another simple dark blue Buriram shirt but up close you have all this paisley effort going on.  In theory great but there’s a little too much variety in that paisley, it becomes part paisley part stained glass pub window. To take it all in you’d need to spend about half an hour a couple of inches from the wearer. As ever, less would have been more, too much of a really nice and innovative idea leaves it all feeling like it’s trying too hard. I’m left with the sense it’s the kind of football shirt you’d see Richard Hammond wearing, far too much effort to vaguely look like no effort has gone into the corporate bohemian result. Then there’s the huge Chang logo, and nobody likes the devil’s piss.

 

 

 

 

 

 

8.Khon Kaen United

Newly promoted Khon Kaen are certainly not fucking about with their kit. The Kaen are our highest red shirt on the list and again it’s the little details that help the overall effort. The black trim to match the bold red (faded collar a nice touch too) and the snakeskin pattern across the body adds to the “we think we’re pretty tasty” vibe. Like Nong Bua, it’s clearly a kit made in Thailand and God bless the people at Ocel for designing it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9. Muangthong United

Nice enough in a simple way, the black colour works with the deep red and the sponsors are well done. The designers at Shoot have decided we’re far enough from the 2018-19 season to just shamelessly rip off that season’s Spurs shirt, using Man Utd’s colours and nobody will notice. You’re wrong buddy, shirt hipsters never forget! Besides try doing something truly interesting next time, might l suggest Newell Old Boys 1993? You’ll look like a black and red Port, have a vague link to Maradona and won’t even have to muster the effort of changing the main sponsor on paint or whatever you design on. Easy day at the office and a massive leap forward.

 

 

 

 

 

 

10.Samut Prakan Dons

The Dons are having a tough time financially it would seem and this has been clearly transmitted to their kits for this season. It’s a cheerful number made in-house but looks like a template effort. Blue and white hoops makes me think of the terraces of Loftus Road and the decent QPR team of the mid-90s. There’s only one sponsor – Chang, the mother-in-law’s favourite – and nowt else. It screams “we are brassic” but in a retro, “please don’t be mean to us” way.

 

 

 

 

11.Prachuap

Look, I’ve got no real issue with this kit, it’s just a bit too busy for my liking. Close to Korat with it’s choice of orange and black but then the sleeves go a bit mental and the monochrome sponsors just don’t work and are poorly positioned. It’s also very similar to last season’s kit and after suffering that as a Port fan with Grand Sport it’s no surprise they’re stiffing honest Prachuap supporters out of their hard earned cash.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

12.Police Tero

A bit budget. Looks like a cheap market job, only heightened by the classic market rip off two lines nod to Adidas. Something vaguely circuit boardie, finger printy or Polynesian going on in the material too but it doesn’t really impress. The beer choice of total wankers and a rather large CP logo between the manufacturer and club badge drag the shirt even further down this list. FBT had all their fun with the away kits and merchandise, this just seems an afterthought.

 

 

 

 

 

 

13.Ratchaburi

Ah it’s just shite really, the kind of shirt your nan would buy down the local market because she was too tight to get the original from Olympus Sport. The pattern on the shirt isn’t as good as some of the other orange shirts on this list and the darker trim is just an afterthought. Cheap and boring.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

14.Chiang Mai United

Did the design team stay up late watching the Euros the night before having to present, forget to do their homework and just copy what they’d seen? If they were watching Belgium, I suspect so. A lazy effort  made worse by the sponsors, another with one between badge and manufacturer’s logo and that Viet Air box is a rotter. Only one winner on the sartorial front in the second city this year as cross town rivals Chiang Mai are wearing some stunning Volt efforts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

15.Bangkok United

Ari have put Rangsit’s Bangkok United in numerous decent efforts over the years but suffer a massive fall from grace this time around.  What’s going on up top with the sponsor between the manufacturer and badge? The True logo is a bit high then you’re left with acres of nothing. Looks like something Disney would dress the baddie team in, where they to produce a “SOKKAH” reboot of the seminal “Mighty Ducks” franchise. Also the red seems to disappear when viewed on the pitch. The chevron design looks like something you’d expect on a pit girl’s catsuit. Still at least you’ll not see anyone walking the streets of Bangkok wearing it right?

 

 

 

 

 

16.Chiang Rai United

A c**ty shirt for a bunch of c**ts, Grand Sport unsurprisingly grace the bottom position with this nasty sportswear travesty. Lazy design and execution, a foul shade of orange, details which add nothing to the overall effort and blocky sponsorship logos (several of whom have cut out logos on their rivals) mean this shirt best belongs on a bonfire. Hate is a very strong emotion, but this shirt is really pushing its luck with me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Obviously, this is the unquestionably correct ranking of the shirts but in the interest of appearing democratic, we’re giving you the chance to offer your views on all the shirts and rate them for yourselves. Give each one a score out of five and next week we’ll compile the results into the people’s rankings, along with the views of a few of our writers.

 

Jimny and Tobannah

Jimny and Tobannah

A right pair of London style gurus. When it comes to football shirts they're right and you're wrong. If they wear it and you don't like it, it's probably because you're northern and have no taste (except in the case of those pink sandals, not sure what happened there). These two wear socks with shoes at all times.

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2replies
  1. Craig Henry says:

    Great article guys. For me, it is a toss up between Bangkok Glass and Khon Kaen United.
    I wouldn’t have the pink Nong Bua one for free. Nothing to do with the fact that I follow Udon Thani..

    Reply
    • James Clarke
      James Clarke says:

      The Nong Bua effort seems to be the talking point of the offerings, the debate generally being over if you’d rather use it to clean the kitchen or the bathroom.

      Reply

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