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THE FAT CATWALK 2021: THE PUBLIC VOTE RESULT

When you open up a public vote on matters sartorial to a farang general public famed for its love of fashion disasters, such as elephant pattern parachute pants and Chang beer vests, you always fear the worst but it seems the Sandpit attracts a more stylish demographic than that found on lower Sukhumvit or at some Koh Pha Ngan beach bar. The results of the first FAT Catwalk public vote are in and thankfully it’s close enough to the correct list we gave you in our previous article, to not be offensive. So well done to most of you (there were a few horror votes – Chiang Rai United 5 stars pleeeeeeeeease) – you have our permission to continue dressing yourselves and thanks for voting. So, here’s the results and a little review of how they came about.

 

1.Suphanburi

Sandpit rank: 1st, average score: 3.44

What can we say, we feared the elegance of this number might be a little too subtle for many of you but you proved us wrong, so our winner also takes the public vote. A rock solid performance for the Warrix effort as it bagged the most five star ratings and was one of just two shirts nobody gave a zero. Well done to you all on your reading choices and fashion sense.

 

2.Bangkok Glass

Sandpit rank: 2nd, average score: 3.28

Just pipped at the post by us and the public the Bunnies put up solid numbers almost matching Suphanburi at every level, however, they just didn’t quite manage to bag as many five star ratings and picked up one zero mark and that ultimately proved the difference.

 

3.Buriram

Sandpit rank: 7th, average score: 3.19

The bronze medal is shared but we’ll place Burriam higher on the Thai-breaker (sorry I love that gag) of managing more five star ratings. We had our reservations about this simple looking from afar but heavily styled close up number but in one of the most noticeable movers from the list, it’s proven a winner with you. Let’s face it Thai football is better off with a decent Buriram shirt as you’ll be seeing the thing on every street corner.

 

3.Chonburi

Sandpit rank: 5th, average score: 3.19

Nobody scored more four star ratings than the Sharks and Nike combo. While only Prachuap in the top ten managed fewer five star marks. This one feels like everyone’s second favourite shirt. I thought the shiny shark tooth effect might offend a few but less than 10% gave it zero or one star.

 

5.Korat

Sandpit rank: 4th, average score: 3.06

Winning the always plentiful orange shirt mini league are Spanish manufacturer Kelme and Korat. Not much to say on the voting really, more than half of you gave this a four or three star rating.

 

6.Prachuap

Sandpit rank: 11th, average score: 3.03

We were somewhat underwhelmed by this effort and took further marks off for its similarity to last seasons offering. No such issues with the public who pushed the Grand Sport offering up the table. Managing just a solitary five vote, it scored heavily in the four and three area but not quite heavily enough to pip Korat for the best orange jersey.

 

7.Bangkok United

Sandpit rank: 15th, average score: 2.81

The biggest upwards mover, climbing 8 places. I guess it’s a free world and you’re allowed to make mistakes, and this really is one. Three clubs shared second on the five star vote count behind Suphanburi and this was one of them. Bizarre.

 

8.Port

Sandpit rank: 3rd, average score: 2.78

This put up solid numbers in higher rankings but was pulled down by scoring the second most zero rankings, so a big hello to all our rage readers and Muangthong fans. You know we’re better dressed than you deep down, don’t you?

 

9.Police

Sandpit rank: 12th, average score: 2.41

Along with Suphanburi the only shirt to avoid a single zero. We rated it an inoffensive if somewhat unimaginative number and the voting reflects that you share that view. It’s dull and I’m moving on. Next!

 

10.Khon Kaen United

Sandpit rank: 8th, average score: 2.38

Another one that managed to neither excite nor offend, collecting a lot of middling votes. While Police achieve mid-table producing a shirt few will remember five minutes after they see it, this one had plenty of detailing but aroused little interest, getting next to no votes in the top or bottom categories.

 

11.Sumat Prakan Dons

Sandpit rank: 10th, average score: 2.25

A nice change of direction but poorly and cheaply executed, you’d think that done with a bit more flair it could have pulled in some bigger votes. For all the talk of love for a sponsorless shirt, was this one held back by the acres of empty space? Another that did the majority of its scoring in the middle numbers with few of you loving or loathing it.

 

12.Ratchaburi

Sandpit rank: 13th, average score: 2.16

Nobody scored more two star ratings than Ratchaburi and it’s hard to come back from that. And this effort from Shoot didn’t.

 

13.Muangthong United

Sandpit Rank: 9th, average score: 1.81

We were nice to the team that used to win stuff from Nonthaburi, but you’re a ruthless bunch and we’re all for it. You gave the lads from Legoland and Shoot a sub 2 average score. Not quite enough to put them in the relegation zone but a solid rejection of all things scummy. One of just two shirts to fail to bag a single 5 star rating. Well done voters.

 

14.Chiang Mai United

Sandpit Rank: 14th, average score: 1.75

The other shirt not to manage a single 5 star rating. 75% of you gave this a one or two star mark and there’s no way back from that kind of performance, as The White Elephants in their pink elephant of a shirt find themselves filling the first style relegation spot. All of which makes the close season transfer, moving on from hip young thing Volt, and replacing them with the lumbering efforts of Grandsport, seems rather folly.

 

15.Nong Bua Pitchaya

Sandpit Rank: 6th, average score: 1.63

The biggest mover from our list sees the Gamecocks tumble an eye watering 9 places into the relegation places. We thought it would be a marmite offering. If that’s the case our readership is very much a vegemite crowd as it barely registered a five star vote and scored the most zeros. The message to Warrix and Nong Bua is clear: next year go back to those solid deep colours and simple designs of recent years.  *somebody is still moaning about the inability of the masses to buy into this pink hot mess. There has been editing*

 

16.Chiang Rai United

Sandpit rank: 16th, average score: 1.5

We had it bottom and thankfully the public agreed. Solidly awful was the view from the public with half of you giving this just one star. Although one style deviant managed to award the monstrosity 5 stars, we’ve passed their IP on to the relevant authority and wouldn’t be shocked if the rather well turned out boys from the fashion police pay them a visit in the next few days.

 

Thanks for taking the time to read and vote.

 

 

 

Jimny and Tobannah

Jimny and Tobannah

A right pair of London style gurus. When it comes to football shirts they're right and you're wrong. If they wear it and you don't like it, it's probably because you're northern and have no taste (except in the case of those pink sandals, not sure what happened there). These two wear socks with shoes at all times.

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