In the Dock: Andy’s All-Time Worst Port XI


So, my ‘best of’ team was truly awesome, a team I am sure that absolutely everyone will agree with, without any hint of disagreement, as the internet is known as a place where people never needlessly quibble with each other or viciously name call over the slightest divergence and is such a wonderful realm of harmony and mutual respect. So, with that agreed I am sure that everyone will be as equally agreeable with my selection for a worst 11. Again some of you who know me may be suspecting that the team could quite possibly have consisted of just one player; Kim Ba-We. And I am sure it would have been equally (I want to say) entertaining (but it probably wouldn’t be) to have witnessed its sheer scale of dumbfoundedness and hilarity. Maybe it would have been something like this; Ba-We misplaces a pass, and Ba-We makes no effort to regain possession, now the opposing player effortlessly rounds Ba-We in defence and shoots at goal where Ba-We in goal is hopelessly out of position and dives in the wrong direction, that makes it 32-0 now with just 15 minutes played. But like my best of team, Ba-We will be joined by 10 other equally inept, hopeless, talentless never-weres and squad fillers.

This team will be based on a more oddball, team chasing a game setup of 4-2-4 formation, this is to make room for all of the awful strikers we have had inflicted upon us in the name of incoherent squad construction, personal arrogance, and the pursuit of silverware.

Read more